How to Sign In To Your New Device

We’ve noticed you’re trying to sign-in from a new device!

We’ve recently upgraded our multi-factor authentication process, adding multiple layers of security to our already complicated user log-in procedure. You’ll be asked to present a few simple pieces of evidence to verify your identity.

We’re sending a randomly generated one-time code to your cellular device. The code should arrive between 3 and 5pm EDT tomorrow.

Great! We’re sending you an email. Please click the link provided.

Please scan your fingerprint on your phone’s Home button so we can be certain it is you using the phone to click the link we emailed.

Fantastic! Next, we’re sending an email to the dormant AOL account you started in the late 90s. Please send us the full name of your high school crush from that account.

After you answer a few security questions your sign-in will be nearly finished.

Please wait while we call your grandmother to verify your mother’s maiden name.

We’re also DMing your first grade teacher on Facebook, and researching old property records to be sure that really is the name of the street you grew up on.

IMPORTANT: Download our security app. Once installed the app will generate a temporary code.

Your temporary code has expired. Temporary codes are only valid for 3 seconds.

We’re sending a food truck to your current location. Please order a carnitas taco and fried oreos and provide the code found on the bottom of the paper trays your food is served in.

Excellent! Your multi-factor authentication is almost complete.

Take a photograph of yourself holding today’s newspaper and scan it into the app.

We’re sorry, your log-in has timed out. Please try again.

SECURITY ALERT: Someone was attempting to sign-in to your account from an unrecognized device. You’re getting this email to make sure it was you. Until we can verify your identity, your account will be locked.

Please click this link to begin our multi-factor authentication process.