Good Ideas...For Someone Else.


I have more ideas than I know what to do with or that I have the actual skills to put into action. Every day I think up new stuff that someone else ought to do, so I thought I'd share a couple.

1. I want someone to start a blog where for a set period of time, say, two weeks or so, they try a new diet plan and report on it everyday and say what they ate and what it was like and how they felt and if the diet works. For example, they could do Paleo for a couple weeks, then try a vegan diet, then maybe do Atkins, then South Beach, then Weight Watchers and then go all raw for two weeks. I would be totally fascinated by a non-biased, experimental, almost scientific approach to trying and reporting on these diets. It could probably even be turned into a pretty interesting book at the end of a year or so. Reasons why I won't be doing this? I am lazy and totally undisciplined and could never stick with any crazy eating plan for more than like a meal at a time.

2. Somebody needs to write a children's book that teaches kids about privacy. As in, leave Mommy alone when she is going potty. Please. I seriously cannot go to the bathroom in peace. Between my daughter and the cat, because the two of them have actually teamed up with the common goal of not letting me poop in peace, I will never, ever have a moment's privacy. I really need a book that teaches my daughter about this. I'm not even kidding, the other night we were out in the yard and the cat was pooping in the flower bed and she was all up in the cat's business. Maybe we could title the book "Let Me Poop in Peace!!" The alternate title could be "Get Out of the Cat's Ass."

3. Most women hate their nipples, especially after childbirth. You know how they have vaginal rejuvenation surgery? They need nipple rejuvenation and nipple reduction surgery too. I have a friend who says after nursing her son her nipples look like Ipswitch clams. Lots of other women think their nipples are too big or weird looking. In fact, all the women I know are way more self-conscious about their nipples than their vaginas. If someone could come up with a nipple fixing cosmetic procedure they would be a gazillionaire.